My “PIP” experience

”PIP” stands for Performance Improvement Plan. It’s a familiar term in tech—especially in big companies—and it’s surrounded by plenty of horror stories. I’m not here to add another one, or to make the term sound scarier than it already does

As Naval puts it:

In any situation in life, you only have three options… You can change it, you can accept it, or you can leave… It’s that struggle, that aversion, that is responsible for most of our misery… accept.

That was exactly the dilemma I faced in my last job. I was stuck in a constant struggle and eventually lost almost all motivation. The work offered little to no growth. On top of that, there was a steady stream of mundane “stuff” I didn’t know how to deal with (what I dismissed at the time as drama and nonsense).
<br>I felt like I had no choice but to leave—so I did.<br>
I’m not sure this fits everyone else’s definition of a “PIP.” Maybe it’s more a matter of how you frame the same story. But in my eyes, it absolutely was.

Most of my suffering came from the same place: I had problems in front of me, and three options.

• To change them, I needed ability.

• To accept them, I needed endurance.

• To leave—to escape—I needed *nothing.*

As long as I’m honest about reality, I have to admit I was defeated. I was disappointed and angry, but not at the company or the environment. I was angry at my own incompetence.

Unlike many people fueled by envy, I’m fueled by anger. The pip experience is painful enough that vividly reminds me of my anger about myself, as well as the fact the need to change things usually boils down to the need to [change myself](/c8a28615fef644c2a9df7912e5c3d5ec?pvs=25).
That’s where my [unlearning](/fe5aa0722fb74f79bf7a60d8a08aba10?pvs=25) journey begins.

However, I can’t be an angry bird all the time. The more I revisit it, the less it feels like pure misfortune—and the more it feels like a tuition bill I didn’t want to pay, but probably needed to.
Although I'm still confused about my severance package, did I forget about it, miss it, or …?